“We miss Oregon. We miss Leverite. We miss the Neighbors. Heck, we even miss having to run outside at two in the morning to lockup the trashcans as raccoons swept through town. But hearing Rumplestiltzkat is on the loose, we feel much safer being on the other side of the planet about now, especially considering […]
Well, some folks did not heed our warnings. Some did. Female cats were glued to windows and doors, yowling all night long to be let out. Toms stayed on laps, grooming themselves with a detached coolness, yet every little noise from beyond the walls startled them to alertness. In the dark, a sinister shadow passed […]
Just a heads up. Anyone living in town that was at the disastrous Amundsen’s Inaugural Thanksgiving Bash is on notice. Rumplestiltzkat has escaped. That’s right. Everyone’s most loathed Demon-in-a-Fur-Coat stalks the streets, seeking vengeance on the living and the dead alike. I never believed in Hell until I met this cat, at which point I […]
Everyone was a little surprised this afternoon to see a shuttle bus loaded with foreign tourists roll up to the Natural History Museum. With a few calls, the museum director was able to round up five people that spoke two other languages each. That is eleven languages in all! It’s is sometimes surprising to consider […]
As summer drags on, every small town confronts the most critical threat to peace and quiet: bored teenagers. However, between the badgers and that game, things have been pretty low key. Unfortunately, it seems that some of the kids from the next town over have decided a little cross-town rivalry is in order, and have […]
Folks were awoken early this morning by strange sounds out near Settler’s Hill trail – the old trail local kids call “suicide hill.” Residents described the sound as a “…rapid spitting sound. Like a cartoon spittle sound, but, from a machine gun.” Officer Sophia Martinez responded to the call, expecting to find the results of […]
This is your Community Bulletin for The week of July 30th, 2016. Let’s cut right to it: Last night’s council meeting was emotionally brutal for most of those in attendance. Around 7:00 PM, folks gathered on the lawn in the shade of the museum, fanning themselves with copies of the meeting’s now-irrelevant agenda. There were […]
Several concerned parties, the City Council being the most concerned, have spent the day discussing this Friday’s council meeting. For the first time in a very long time, they are in unanimous agreement on one thing: they have no idea what to expect. They feel, as Financial Chair Wilkins put it, “lost in the woods.” […]
In the past, visitors have called our town “Too Friendly.” Maybe it’s true. We tend to acknowledge folks that come in earshot of us. We make eye contact, greet folks by name, and even talk to strangers like we’ve known them for years. Considering the number of lost hikers and folks with car troubles that […]
It seems the tobacco tin full of questionable tobacco that sent the Council of Old Guys into the ozone belongs to Art Song. When Chief Wells went to question him about it Monday morning, things seemed out of place. Art’s front door was open and the house appeared to have been ransacked. The bedroom showed […]
Six years. Now, I’m telling you, if you called a plumber and he said it would be six hours before he could fix a clogged toilet, you’d keep calling around for other options. If the EMT said it would be six minutes before he’d bother doin’ CPR on ya, you’d stay alive probably outta sheer […]
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