Small-Town American Graffiti

As summer drags on, every small town confronts the most critical threat to peace and quiet: bored teenagers. However, between the badgers and that game, things have been pretty low key.

Unfortunately, it seems that some of the kids from the next town over have decided a little cross-town rivalry is in order, and have started “tagging” walls of houses and outbuildings on the edge of town. One kid, when caught, said that kids from Leverite started it, but like a well-raised young man, failed to name any names.

There is a certain amount of leeway residents and law officials give to these petty crimes. The idea being that, so long as they’re tagging walls or smokingĀ  in the backseats of cars, then they aren’t up to anything really dangerous like reading Bukowski or imitating stupid stunts they’ve seen on youtube.

Still, some neighbors have voiced concern about their property being vandalized, not because of the damage, but because of the low quality and lack of effort put into the work.

“Pathetic.” Mr Ansari fumed. He examined the graffiti on the side his 2014 Winnebego Tour and spit. “Where I am from… Such disrespect. Such lack of imagination. These kids. They do not have sense of ownership. Of pride. Small town, small vision. They think they know about bus bombing. Oh no. We will show them. Yes, we will show them good!”

As of publication, the illegible yellow squiggles have been painted over, and what looks to be bobble-headed caricatures of The Parliamentary Funkadellic riding a UFO are taking shape down the entire thirty foot length of Abraham’s RV.

“Tomorrow, other side. Led Zepplin. Then we show these punks what graffiti looks like.”