Community Bulletin – Preparations and Missing A Spot

This is your Community Bulletin for the week of November 19th, 2016

Activity continues to wind up as Thanksgiving approaches, and the Hobbi-, er, Hoos of Hoovi-, I mean, Residents of Leverite are in a frenzy of preparation. Many households expect an army of kids and grand kids to descend upon them for the 153rd Thanksgiving Feast. Most households around here treat this as the biggest Holiday of the year. Smart move too, as most of their kids now live in warmer, sunnier environments and Decembers around here can be a bit grey and damp.

It’s a boom time of year for Stumpy. He’s been taking orders for groceries, purchasing to order, and passing the savings on to us. He says he’d like to say that it was a thank you for being his customer, and being done in the spirit of the holiday season. “But the truth is, much as I love y’all, it’s a practical issue. Not enough room on the Main Road for two trucks to pass each other, you know. And these guys can get whiny about backing a forty foot trailer for half a mile. Can ya believer it? So, one delivery every couple of days. Means I can spend more time here ringin’ up turkeys and less time on the phone with angry drivers arguing over whose-life-is-harder- mine or theirs.”

Not everyone, however, is caught up in the madness. Mayor Amundsen and his wife are getting out of town for the next couple of weeks. Good thing too, as something about them has changed. His tie hangs looser these days, and he seems to have an easy, free-swinging gait that none of us have seen in years. Similarly, Harriet has gotten her hair cropped into one of those pixie-bob cuts and has taken to tying the tails of her shirts so that they expose her stomach. The change has been a matter of conversation among the Council of Old Guys, most of whom remember when the Amundson’s were those wild troublemaker kids you couldn’t leave alone for five minutes before they’d have their hands all over each other. Now it seems, they’ve rediscovered some of that, um, zest. Honestly, It’s a little embarrassing. Edna has had to ask them the leave the diner a couple of times for fear their behavior was about to slip into the indecent.

“The meal ends if I see shoulders.” she admonished as they entered following the City Council Meeting.

Somebody, and we aren’t naming names, says that they even heard the mayor talking with someone about buying their restored T-Bucket Lincoln and driving the Cannonball Run. The unnamed party suggests that this is less of a “midlife crisis,” and more of a “no life crisis.” and hopes that it ends in a greater sense of self, and not with the couple rotting in a jail cell somewhere in Nebraska. “They double down with speeders pretty hard in Nebraska,” our contact said, “So I hear. I had a friend once compare challenging a ticket there to walking into a Turkish Prison.” We aren’t really sure what that means, honestly, but it seemed best to assume that it means the fines were particularly steep, especially for out-of-state drivers.

In all the excitement, one thing that has gone unnoticed is the lack of badgers. Since Hudson moved out to the North Parcel and started building his cabin, they seem to be more interested in bothering him than in bothering townsfolk. In fact, Brother Louis said that, for the first time in years, he almost feels like he doesn’t have be be hyper vigilant when he is down by the river sprucing up the little St John shrine down there. “Keep in mind, I said ‘Almost,’ friend” he laughed “I’ve lived here too long to get comfortable down by the water.”

Brother Louis, of course, is in the middle of preparations of his own. This is the time of year for important holidays for many different religions, and Brother Louis has been trying to be prepared for all of them. Already, he has services and observations planned for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Yule, as well a Japanese noodle feast for December 31st (which is a really important thing, I am told). Brother Louis is often asked why he tries to cater to every religion. It can be problematic, especially as there are some folks that take exception to services being delivered by someone who doesn’t belong to their particular sect. He said that yes, you have to be respectful of that, and know where you shouldn’t step, but said “in truth, when lost in the storm, finding a fellow traveler in any colored robe is a blessing.”

Wednesday, several houses were visited by the Gemstone Fairy. Ms Sixkiller was among those finding particularity delicate specimens of lava rock on her back porch. The piece was heavily eroded, leaving a delicate lattice that looked kind of like a stone wasp-nest. She has been giddy ever since, feeling like she is really part of the town now. She even went and got fresh pimentos for her gift she gave the next night.

Ms Sixkiller is still exploring the whole Myrtlewood thing within the context of the rest of the town’s past. She expressed some of her finding to the Council of Old Guys, saying “It seems like this town has a history of two types of people: those with bad ideas, and those that ride the waves of the bad ideas, and settle wherever they land. It’s… fascinating. It’s like there’s a whole culture, going back centuries, with the attitude ‘Meh, it’ll pass.’ I’m stuck between being in awe of the resilience of folks here, and wondering how anyone gets anything done.” Her assessment was met with laughter and approval. “You get it, Ms Sophie, ” Art laughed, “It’s almost like you’ve lived here before. Get you complaining about potholes or that one patch outside the museum that never gets mown, and we’ll make a local of you yet!”

This issue of The Community Bulletin brought to you by a financial consideration by Stumpy’s Deli. Stumpy’s, where Good ain’t Bad, and Great is Pretty Good too!