Community Bulletin – Good, Better, and Meh

This is your Community Bulletin for the week of August 27th, 2016.

This morning saw Edna’s Diner full of smiling tourists, smiling elected officials, and smiling locals. The only one not smiling was Edna, but she would consider it as a character flaw on her part to be so ostentatious. Truth is, she had a few reasons to smile that had nothing to do with the spike in business today.

The tourists had come for the Museum’s newly reborn “Oregon and The West” program. Ever since that first wave of tourists showed up about a month ago, the museum staff has made sure to have folks on hand to put on programs in case any more surprise buses show up. Four weeks on, it is now a scheduled event. We’ve tried putting on other programs, but “Oregon and The West” is the one they are expecting.

Why? Well, it ends up that most of the tourists are from eastern Europe, and that there is a meme out there of “What happened after the Oregon Trail?” Well, in answering that, several Oregon towns had their names mentioned as “Living Ghosttowns.” An evocative title, to be sure, but a rather dubious honor.  This is further fueled by a book published back in the seventies that referenced this town quite a bit as a place where “Frontier heroes went to die quietly.” An even more dubious honor.  As such, for many of these  folks, Leverite became part of Oregon Trail history, which of course makes our resident Oregon Trail expert Walt Bradley die a little on the inside. To his credit, Walt masks his chagrin pretty well,  and sudden influx of funds from the Gift Shop helps soothe the sting of bad pop-culture history reporting.

Members of the town council were smiling because, not only did that bus full of tourists come with implied dollar signs attached, but it seems that The State will be be approving the sale of North Parcel 5. “The only thing missing is the rubber stamp!” Amundsen exclaimed, punching the air like Freddy Mercury. The added benefit of this sale, from his perspective, is that it invalidates all the other offers that included North Parcel 5. This resets the whole bidding process and opens most of the quarry property back up for locals to bid on them. “That’s what I would really like to see,” he said, “I mean, yeah, badgers be damned, I wanna know whoever is out there is going to be a good neighbor. We have enough variables to contend with around here. I really don’t want to see us saddled with another… vexatious spirit that we can’t shuffle along once they’ve outlived their welcome.”

Mayor Amundsen looked out the window and smiled, almost apologetically, to someone who wasn’t standing in the sculpture garden talking with Edna. Edna of course is swamped most weekends as of late, but still manages to take time to go out to the Jizo shrine on the North Ridge and leaving little offerings before going and visiting The Joneses. It seems the girl is doing well and that Ginger is a good treatment for morning sickness. Edna’s “Auntie side” showing is not a new thing, but for your own safety and comfort, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it if I were you.

Today is the big field trip for the Lab Science day-camp students. They will be exploring tide pools along the coast. Several of the parent-volunteers have been reminded that, if they harass any wildlife again, they will be covered in crackers and tied to the roof rack of the bus for the remainder of the excursion. This was their only warning. After last year, it seems silly to have to say that sleeping seals don’t have a sense of humor, and quite fortunately, neither do the Park Rangers.

Lot’s of folks have been asking about Hudson, and when is Sheila getting back. Hudson is, as you would expect, keeping to himself at his Father’s place. Sheila is, presumably, making her way towards British Columbia. We don’t know, but no news is good news. Additionally, we know why you are asking, and caution you to not go down this path again. Let it go and get back to that classic pastime of minding your own business.

This issue of your Community Bulletin was made possible by a financial gift from The Council of Old Guys, who figured “Shoot, throw ’em a bone. Why the hell not?”