Community Bulletin: The Goats and the Jackdaw

This is your Community Bulletin for the week of July 26th, 2016

With so much of our history deriving from struggling trapping and mining expeditions, Leverite has never been much of a “lawn town.” Driving the streets, you see patches of unkempt grasses or local ground covers, fields of mixed clover and dandelion, and some beautifully tended shrubs and flower gardens. Lawns, those manicured putting greens popular throughout the Midwest and Arizona, just never caught on here.

This could change, however. Emily Sodt has been looking for new ways to make money, and has decided a goat-based lawn service might be the way to go. She currently has a pretty good sized herd she uses to clear the undergrowth around her Christmas Tree farm. She is looking to recruit some volunteers that will let her unleash her best behaved goats on their yard to “tend, trim, and prune to perfection.” She acknowledges that this is an experiment, so you know, keep that in mind if you have any prized specimen you’ve been cultivating out by the deck.

Amma is at the Lane County Fair this week, though not as a competitor. She says none of her mushrooms were up to snuff in her opinion. Instead, she is there supporting her nephew’s 4H club and helping wrangle kids of the human variety. “The only real difference between a two legged kid and a four legged one,” she said, “is that baby goats are less bitey.”

Winds on the coast have been nice, and several young folks in the area arranged an impromptu kite competition at the national park. Winners received hastily modified bowling trophies in categories for “Best Stunt Flying,” “Aerial Ballet,” “Epic crash” and “That poor seagull will never be the same.” Art’s Grand-daughter Melanya was the fan favorite, walking away with a $100 gift card for a local kite shop and a citation from the parks department for harassing wildlife with a stunt kite. In her defense, Melanya says the seagull started it.

Birds also figured into last night’s City Council meeting, in a way. As the council moved to New Business, the doors of the meeting room were thrown open in a somewhat melodramatic fashion, and Brother Louis strode into the room. He threw a twisted and broken rifle onto the council table and declared “The Jackdaw Comes.” The gravitas of his words were out of character for him, and the room was silent for some minutes after he turned and left the room.

Speaking with him this morning, Brother Louis said “This is ritual, my man. This is following polite forms. The Jackdaw is someone pretty important to some of the neighbors. A holyman of sorts. And being as they see me as priest of sorts, the Smiths made it clear that respect meant I should make the introductions. Last night’s floorshow signifies the distant rumbling of thunder. This week will be gentle rain, and next Friday night will be BOOM! Lightning Flash! Grand reveal from a puff of smoke! That sort of thing. Ritual is important, my friend, we thirst in it’s absence, where our neighbors drink deeply. The Jackdaw, you could say he or she is the well dipper of sorts, if we keep on this thirst metaphor. At least, that’s my take on it. They have an understandably different understanding.”

So, with temperatures slated to climb well into the nineties this week, expect gentle rains and building storms.

An assault of note occurred at  a campground about thirty miles south of here. Three young men were cooking hotdogs and playing that cellphone game when they were attacked. According to the police report, the assailant  appeared out of nowhere, ripping the phones from the hands of three young men, before crushing them underfoot. He was yelling “I free you! I free you! Run! Run! They have no power here!” before vanishing into the underbrush, stealing the opened package of franks in the process. Authorities have no leads, but we suspect that The Scoutmaster has struck again.

This issue of your community update sponsored by Stumpy’s, your local deli, grocery, post office, tag & title, feed & seed, bait, ammo, art supply, and fuel stop since 1938.