Sources close to the Mayor have informed us that three more competing offers have come in for parcels surrounding the quarry. There seems to be some overlap, but that all of them include the problematic “North Parcel 5.” When we asked the Mayor about this, he stuck his head out into his reception area and yelled “Damnit Donna, stop talking to the Press, will ya!”
He explained that the whole process was very complicated, and he would be happy to explain it, but warned that it was excruciatingly tedious and may kill us, so we decided to opt for the short-short version. That is to say, there is a bidding war, with all parties interested in the most geologically unstable part of town, adjacent to a failed gravel pit, at the heart of a logging operation that never turned a profit, sitting on top of a gold mine that never produced much more than a pauper’s prospect. To the winner goes this little chunk of heaven, which is currently overrun with badgers.
“When you put it like that, it does seem kooky.”
I asked him if he though maybe the interest was not the land, but the badgers, or maybe the neighborhoods past the North Ridge. He indicated he hadn’t thought of that, and would need to consult with the Forest Service if there was any chance that might be the case. He then asked that we quit plying his secretary with malted milkballs in order to get information and just call him directly. We said we would need to double check with our integrity guidelines, but that should be a workable arrangement.