Community Bulletin – The Mayor Motive

This is your Community Bulletin for the week of August 20th. It started warm, ended hot, and last night’s big game was The City Council meeting. Not even the games in Rio garnered as much cheering as was heard from the doors of the closed council session. After some general muttering associated with Roberts Rules and procedure and meeting minutes that nobody was really listen too, Mayor Amudsen spoke. You couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, but eventually there were gasps of astonishment from the Council, an excited “WHAT!?” and then something like laughter and cheers and sighs of relief before someone that sounded like Lisa Gibbs shouted “Screw the rest of the agenda. Move to adjourn! WHOOOH!”

Member of the Council then descended on Edna’s, bought cold sodas for everyone present, then proceeded to talk about Olympic Track and Field events the rest of the evening.

Sources close to the Mayor, namely The Mayor, confirmed that the new offer on North Parcel 5 “is a go”, and he will be submitting the paperwork to the state on Monday. This doesn’t affect the other quarry parcels or the lien against the failed business that still holds title to some of them. However, it gets the city out of hot water. The potential owner isn’t being disclosed until everything is finalized. “Oh hell no, my friend,” the Mayor spoke candidly, “there is no way I’m gonna jinx this. You get to find out when everybody else does.”

Sources not quite as close to the Mayor said “Oh hell, no. Do you see that smile on his face? There’s no way I’m robbing him of that.”

Sources who hate the mayor say they look forward to finding out who it is so that they can finally get him kicked out of office, because it is obviously a crony of his, or a kick back to one of his handlers to cash in on our small town. As we walked away at a brisk pace, said contact continued to follow us, offering up her take on Freemasons, Venusian Insectoid Invaders, and the Trilateral Commission.

Some folks you just can’t have a nice conversation with.

We got a call from Sheila. She has “Been where I needed to be, and said what needed to be said,” and is now leaving for Northern British Columbia. She says she already has a ride arranged, but may need a hand getting back, but she’ll let us know. As usual, “The old rule applies: no news is good news, no matter what.”

School starts in less than two weeks, so the Museum is hosting its yearly Life Science Lab Days for kids 12 and up. Activities include how to use a microscope, basic microbiology, and watershed science. Field trips will include tidepool exploration on the coast. Parents get in free, so long as they are willing to ferry around not only their own kids, but those of half the parents in town trying to escape their brooding adolescents who are losing their minds as the school year looms over them like the shadowy spectre of death.

Record temperatures in the Willamette Valley have driven folks into the hills, which has left the surrounding campsites and trailheads packed with tourists looking for the sweet chillĀ  air of the forest and forgotten glades formed from old clear cuts. Remember that if you see a tourist in your back yard, direct them to the main road. Don’t tell them to go back the way they came. The last thing we need is more folks wandering around for hours, lost in the woods, less that 50 yards from their cars. And whatever you do, don’t visit anything important in the woods. Please. Those volunteering for “wrangling duty” are already out there keeping on eye open for folks going where they don’t belong. Please don’t decide to go help at the last minute.

Edna has offered a Sunday Special she is calling a reconciliation for her orneriness this past week: the bacon and mushroom pot pie she normally only serves around the holidays. Additionally, she has agreed to continue doing experimental specials, on the condition that nobody badger her about them. “If you expect something, it ain’t a special no more now, is it?” she said, again, to no customer in particular.

This issue of the Community Bulletin brought to you by the Leverite Historical Society and Museum, which celebrate their 101st Anniversaries this October. Thank you for your continued support!