Unsigned Letters

The following were anonymous letters sent in for publication. Even though some of them had the person’s name as part of the email return address, we aren’t naming names.


“A lot of y’all think I’m a big dumb hick. All I care about is beer, fishing, and NASCAR. And you know what? That’s all right. I mean, you don’t know me. You ain’t been where I been, you ain’t seen what I seen. But you know what, I love y’all like you were any of my kin. You need help, you got it. It gets old sometimes, and I know some of you get tired of my playing sometimes too. And that’s all right.

“But I ain’t here to get all cuddly and turn this letter into some kind of lovefest. We’ve got a problem.

“Now I’m not much of a reader, but it’s important enough to me that I’m slipping cash to the Library when I can. They don’t want to tell you this, but they’re going broke on our behalf. Every one of their ‘volunteers’ is paying for the privilege to teach our snot nosed brats about things we were too busy to have learned ourselves.

So, if you want OUR town to continue to have OUR Library, then maybe you should reconsider all that money your spending on your half gallon froofroo coffee and fancy bread that tastes like horsefeed.”


“To whom it may concern,

We are declaring war upon North Parcel 5. Our first attack will be soon. You cannot stop us. Badgers cannot stop us. Police Chief Wells cannot stop us! We are unstoppable!

Once conquered, we will defend it against all comers as we try to render the state bidding process null and void, liberating this land for the city of Leverite.

If you wish to help, send snacks to the gray shack at the bottom of suicide hill. If you want to join us, be prepared to take a sacred and insoluble pledge to take and defend North Parcel 5.

We can do this!”

“Fellow Rockhounds,

I know this should go without saying, but strongly encourage folks to clean up after themselves when out on digs, and if you see something, dispose of it. There is no such thing as cleaning fairies, not even in the great outdoors.”

Remember that the contents of letters are solely the opinions of the posters and do not reflect the views of Leverite Community Press or it’s staff. Though, I gotta say, I do like that first letter. Thanks for thinking of us!